The Pompous Ass Persona: How Narcissistic Flying Monkeys Use Arrogance to Dismiss Others
- Editorial Staff
- Oct 8
- 4 min read
How arrogance and superiority are weaponized by narcissistic enablers to silence, invalidate, and protect toxic power dynamics.
Arrogance is more than just an unpleasant trait—it can be a tool of manipulation and psychological warfare, especially when wielded by narcissistic Flying Monkeys. These individuals, often enablers or defenders of a narcissist, take on an air of superiority and self-righteousness that serves to belittle, silence, and invalidate those who question the narcissist’s behavior.
In this article, we examine how Flying Monkeys strategically employ arrogance to reinforce the narcissist’s control while establishing their own sense of power and self-importance within the toxic dynamic.
What Is the “Pompous Ass Persona”?
The "Pompous Ass Persona" is a façade adopted by Flying Monkeys—individuals who act on behalf of a narcissist to manipulate or control others. It is characterized by:
Overconfidence
Condescension
Dismissiveness
A sense of superiority over others
This persona is not random—it’s calculated. It’s used to shut down conversations, minimize other people's experiences, and position the Flying Monkey (and by extension, the narcissist) as the only “rational” or “informed” party.
Why Arrogance Works as a Manipulation Tool
Arrogance serves multiple functions in narcissistic abuse:
Invalidation: Victims are made to feel unintelligent or overly emotional when their concerns are met with eye rolls, sarcasm, or derision.
Redirection: Instead of addressing harmful behavior, the Flying Monkey deflects attention and blames the victim.
Isolation: The target may start to doubt themselves and pull away from speaking out or seeking support.
Reinforcement of Hierarchy: By acting superior, Flying Monkeys elevate the narcissist and themselves, while pushing others down the social ladder.
Tactics Used by Arrogant Flying Monkeys
Mocking Language: Using sarcasm or ridicule to make the victim feel foolish.
Credential Flaunting: Overemphasizing titles, education, or connections to undermine others.
Dismissive Body Language: Eye rolling, sighing, or laughing at the victim’s emotions or concerns.
False Intellectualism: Presenting pseudo-intellectual arguments to appear “above” emotional realities.
Gaslighting Through Tone: Making the victim question their validity simply through smug tone and delivery.
How It Feeds the Narcissist’s Agenda
Flying Monkeys don’t always act out of ignorance. Some gain a sense of power by aligning themselves with the narcissist. By adopting an arrogant stance, they:
Protect the narcissist’s ego
Punish the victim for resisting control
Position themselves as gatekeepers to “truth” or “normality”
Their behavior validates the narcissist’s worldview and keeps the abusive system in place.
How to Respond to Arrogant Flying Monkeys
Don’t Argue: Arrogance thrives on reaction. Refuse to engage.
Affirm Your Reality: Their superiority complex doesn’t define your truth.
Set Boundaries: Clearly state your limits and enforce them consistently.
Seek Support: Connect with communities or professionals who validate your experience.
Educate Yourself: Understanding the tactics helps you depersonalize the attacks.
Examples of the Pompous Ass Persona in Action
1. The “Expert” Friend Who Talks Down to You
You confide in a mutual friend about the narcissist’s behavior — emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or verbal abuse. Instead of listening, they say: “You’re being dramatic. I’ve known them for years, and they’d never do that. Maybe you’re just too sensitive.”
What’s happening?
The Flying Monkey presents themselves as the authority, invalidating your experience through arrogant dismissal. They protect the narcissist by making you seem irrational.
2. The Family Member Who Publicly Ridicules You
At a family gathering, you try to speak up about a boundary the narcissist has crossed. The Flying Monkey's cousin loudly interrupts: “Oh, please, here we go again with the victim routine. You always make things bigger than they are.”
What’s happening?
Arrogance becomes a weapon of public shaming. This tactic humiliates and silences you while reinforcing the narcissist’s "untouchable" status.
3. The Flying Monkey with Credentials
You raise concerns in a workplace or professional setting. The Flying Monkey — who may be a colleague with a title or degree — sneers: “I’ve been in this field for 20 years. I’d know if someone was a narcissist.”
What’s happening?
They weaponize their status or experience to discredit your perspective. This is false intellectualism — a common tactic of arrogance-based manipulation.
4. The Gaslighting Partner’s Best Friend
When you describe emotional abuse to your partner’s best friend (a classic Flying Monkey), they smirk and say: “You just don’t understand their sense of humor. Not everyone’s so emotionally fragile.”
What’s happening?
They use condescension and ridicule to dismiss your pain, suggesting that you are the problem, not the narcissist’s behavior.
5. Online Trolls as Flying Monkeys
After sharing your story online, someone comments:
“Sounds like you’re just bitter and trying to make someone look bad because things didn’t go your way. Grow up.”
What’s happening?
Arrogant Flying Monkeys often emerge online. Their snide, superior tone attempts to discredit and silence survivors — especially in narcissistic family systems or social circles.
6. The Religious or Moral Superiority Angle
You question a narcissist’s behavior in a faith-based setting, and a Flying Monkey retorts:
“It’s not your place to judge others. You should be more forgiving, like a real Christian.”
What’s happening?
They cloak arrogance in moral superiority, shaming you into silence while painting the narcissist as misunderstood or virtuous.
The "Pompous Ass Persona" isn't just annoying—it's abusive, and a part of a system of control that reinforces narcissistic abuse and disempowers victims. Recognizing how arrogance functions in the Flying Monkey playbook is a step toward protecting your peace and reclaiming your power. You don’t have to match their arrogance or stoop to their level. Awareness, boundaries, and self-respect are your best tools for disarming their dismissive behavior.
The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. We are not licensed clinicians, mental health professionals, lawyers, or legal advisors. For any concerns regarding mental health or personal situations, please seek advice from a qualified professional. For more details, please read our full disclaimer.
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