Narcissists and Office Politics: How to Stay Above the Drama

Navigate workplace narcissism with confidence, clarity, and emotional integrity—without getting pulled into toxic power games.

In every office, there’s some degree of politics—power struggles, alliances, and personality clashes. But when narcissists enter the scene, these dynamics can turn downright toxic. Narcissistic coworkers or bosses can manipulate, undermine, and sabotage to climb the ladder or maintain control. If you've ever left a meeting feeling confused, doubted your own memory of events, or felt you're being "iced out" for no clear reason, you may be dealing with a workplace narcissist.

Recognizing Narcissistic Behavior in the Workplace

Narcissists in professional settings such as the office often cloak their manipulation in charm, confidence, or “leadership presence.” Over time, their true behavior emerges.

Example 1: A narcissistic project manager consistently "forgets" to mention your contributions in team meetings but highlights their own work—even when it was a team effort. This erodes team morale, leading to frustration and disengagement among team members.

Example 2: A coworker flatters you constantly, asking for your help on projects—until they present the final report to leadership without acknowledging your involvement.

Common traits to watch for:

• Consistently taking credit for others’ work

• Dismissing feedback or reacting with hostility to criticism

• Forming cliques or alliances to control narratives

• Gaslighting colleagues by denying previous conversations or decisions

Common Tactics Narcissists Use in Office Politics

Here’s how narcissists manipulate office dynamics to maintain dominance:

Triangulation

• Example: Jane tells you that "Mark has been questioning your performance," then later tells Mark that you seem to be struggling with deadlines. Neither of you has actually said anything, but now distrust and conflict are growing.

False Narratives

• Example: During a department conflict, the narcissist tells HR they were “just trying to mediate,” when they were in fact fueling both sides to create chaos and appear like the savior.

Blame-Shifting

• Example: After missing a key deadline, your narcissistic boss emails leadership stating that the delay was due to your "lack of follow-through"—even though you were waiting for their approval.

Love Bombing & Devaluing

• Example: A narcissistic coworker praises your talent and says you should “partner more often,” then suddenly stops responding to emails, excludes you from meetings, and speaks poorly of you to others once you assert yourself.

The Emotional Cost of Engaging

Getting pulled into their games can erode your self-esteem and leave you emotionally depleted. Narcissists thrive on drama, chaos, and emotional responses. You may find yourself lying awake at night rehearsing conversations, feeling defensive at work, or even second-guessing your competence.

Example: After multiple interactions with a narcissistic teammate who constantly undermines you, you begin to question your own memory of conversations and start doubting your ability—even though you’ve never had issues before.

Why Staying Above the Drama Matters

When you choose not to engage in their manipulative tactics, you protect not only your peace but also your professional integrity.

Example: When the narcissist tries to pull you into office gossip, you politely disengage. Colleagues begin to notice you’re the one who remains focused and respectful—this builds trust and credibility over time. Engaging might feel satisfying in the short term (especially when you “catch” them in a lie), but narcissists are masters at twisting narratives. They may play the victim and turn others against you.

Strategies to Stay Grounded and Professional

Don’t Take the Bait

• Example: When a narcissist publicly questions your decision in an office meeting, respond calmly and factually. Try saying, "I appreciate your input, and I will consider it alongside my other data. I will follow up with more details after reviewing everything." Don’t let them provoke a defensive reaction.

  
  

Document Interactions

• Example: After a conversation where responsibilities were agreed upon, follow up with a recap email: “Just to confirm, I’ll handle X, and you’ll handle Y by Friday.”

  
  

Stick to Facts

• Avoid opinions and focus on outcomes and deliverables. Keep your communication clear and neutral.

  
  

Avoid Gossip

• Example: When approached with “Did you hear what she said about you?” respond with: “I’d rather focus on work than speculate.”

  
  

Set Boundaries

• Be polite but firm: “I’d prefer to discuss work-related matters only during these meetings.”

When to Document, Report, or Escalate

Some narcissistic behaviors cross ethical or even legal boundaries—harassment, bullying, sabotage.

Example: Your manager takes credit for your presentation in a meeting with executives. After it happens repeatedly, you begin documenting instances and gathering email proof showing you did the work. Once you have clear documentation, you can escalate the issue through HR or trusted leadership.

Always approach HR or leadership with a factual, calm, and well-documented timeline. Avoid emotional appeals—they’re easier for narcissists to discredit. To help maintain this demeanor, consider preparing a brief template for your opening remarks during such conversations. For instance, you might start with: 'I appreciate your taking the time to discuss this. I have documented several instances with specific dates and outcomes, and I believe addressing them is important for our team’s productivity and morale.' Practicing your wording can help alleviate anxiety and ensure clarity.

Self-Care and Boundaries in a Narcissistic Work Culture

Working alongside narcissists in the office can leave you emotionally exhausted. Make your emotional well-being a priority:

• Taking breaks is essential—even a 5-minute walk outside can help reset your energy. Integrating brief pauses into your routine not only enhances your well-being but also boosts productivity and focus, making you more effective in achieving high work standards.

• Practice mindfulness to remain present and grounded

• Seek support by talking to trusted friends, a coach, or a therapist. Additionally, consider joining peer or mentor circles for collective support and shared insights. These circles can provide encouragement and reinforce the notion that you are not alone in your experiences.

• Define your off-limits—don’t let narcissists dominate your off office hours via email or texts.

Example: You notice you dread checking your inbox on Sunday nights because of your boss's pattern of sending passive-aggressive messages. You set a boundary to only check email during work hours and silence notifications outside of them.

Preserve Your Power, Protect Your Peace

You can't change the narcissist, but you can control your response. By staying calm, keeping your integrity, and refusing to engage in power plays, you protect your energy and your career. Imagine a future where you walk into the office and feel a sense of peace and empowerment. You've built a professional reputation based on respect and competence, and colleagues seek your advice for handling challenging situations. You thrive in your role, knowing that you can rise above the chaos while maintaining your personal and professional boundaries. Let others play games. You're here to lead with professionalism and peace.

The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. We are not licensed clinicians, mental health professionals, lawyers, or legal advisors. For any concerns regarding mental health or personal situations, please seek advice from a qualified professional. For more details, please read our full disclaimer.