Escaping the Narcissist’s Grasp: Mediation, Moving On, and Reclaiming Your Power

How to Regain Your Peace and Strength After a Grueling Mediation Battle with a Narcissist

Mediation with a narcissist is not for the faint of heart. If you’ve been through it, you know how exhausting, frustrating, and downright surreal the process can be. The playbook includes twists and turns, bait and switch tactics, and attempts to rewrite reality. The goal of the narcissist? To win at all costs, leaving you with as little as possible while maintaining their inflated sense of control.

Suppose you’ve just come out of an arduous mediation, especially one involving not only the narcissist but also their “flying monkeys” (loyal enablers who support their narrative). In that case, you may feel a mix of emotions—relief, frustration, and exhaustion, to name a few. The important thing now is to shift your focus from them to YOU. Here’s how you can recover, move on quickly, and understand how the narcissist will likely spin the situation to mutual contacts.

How Should You Feel in a Mediation with a Narcissist?

First, know that it’s completely normal to have conflicting emotions after dealing with a narcissist in a legal or business setting. You might be feeling:

• Relief—The process is over, and you no longer have to spend time and energy entangled in their manipulations.

• Frustration – Maybe you didn’t get everything you wanted or had to compromise more than expected.

• Exhaustion – Narcissists wear you down with their relentless tactics. Ten-plus hours in a room, battling over details would drain anyone.

• Uncertainty – You might wonder, What’s their next move? How will they twist this?

While these emotions are normal, the key is not to let them linger longer than necessary. Here’s how to reclaim your energy and move forward.

How to Quickly Move On & Recover

1. Mentally Close the Door

Even if the narcissist continues talking about you, you don’t have to stay mentally engaged. Repeat this to yourself: I am done with them. They thrive on occupying space in your head—don’t let them.

2. Detox from Their Energy

Symbolic actions can be surprisingly powerful. Delete old emails, remove their contact info, and clear out any lingering paperwork that is no longer needed. Even something as simple as writing down your lingering frustrations and then shredding the paper can help you mentally purge their influence.

3. Reframe the Outcome

Instead of focusing on what you lost, focus on what you protected. A narcissist will always aim to take everything, and if you manage to leave the mediation with anything intact, that’s a victory. They didn’t get total domination—that alone is a win.

4. Minimize Future Contact

If you still have ongoing loose ends, establish strict boundaries. Keep communication minimal, factual, and emotionless. Use intermediaries instead of direct conversations.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Replenish yourself after this exhausting experience. Whether it’s rest, exercise, a weekend getaway, or even a quiet day to reset, take care of your mental and emotional well-being.

How Will the Narcissist Spin This?

One thing you can count on is that the narcissist will rewrite history to make themselves look good. Expect them to spread one (or more) of these narratives:

• “I won.” Even if the settlement was a compromise, they’ll likely present it as their victory.

• “They were difficult.” They may paint you as unreasonable or even delusional to others.

• “I was generous.” If they had to give up anything, they’d spin it as though they “allowed” it out of the kindness of their heart.

The key here? You don’t need to defend yourself. Let them waste their energy spinning stories. The people who matter will see the truth over time.

What Can You Do?

• Stay above the drama. People will eventually notice inconsistencies in their stories.

• Control your narrative selectively. If asked, a simple statement like “It was a long and difficult process, but I’m glad to have moved on” is enough—no need to engage further.

• Let time reveal the truth. Narcissists overplay their hand. Over time, their exaggerated claims and manipulations will become apparent to those around them.

Mediation with a narcissist is a battle of endurance, but now that it’s over, the power is back in your hands. You’re no longer trapped in their game. By focusing on your healing and future, you take away the very thing they crave—your attention and energy.

Keep moving forward. Let them spin their stories while you live your life on your terms. Ultimately, the best revenge is peace, freedom, and success.

The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. We are not licensed clinicians, mental health professionals, lawyers, or legal advisors. For any concerns regarding mental health or personal situations, please seek advice from a qualified professional. For more details, please read our full disclaimer.