How Narcissists Use Schadenfreude to Justify Their Superiority Complex

Why narcissists derive pleasure from others’ misfortunes—and how it fuels their need to feel superior.

In a world where empathy is key to meaningful connection, narcissists often operate on a very different emotional wavelength. One of the most troubling behaviors they exhibit is schadenfreude—the pleasure taken in someone else’s misfortune. While this trait is already concerning, there’s a specific way narcissists use it: to justify and reinforce their superiority complex. In their eyes, your loss isn't just your failure—it’s proof that they’re better.

While we’ve explored the general meaning of schadenfreude in our articles “Schadenfreude: A Key Red Flag of Narcissistic Personality” and “Understanding Schadenfreude in Narcissists: Why They Take Pleasure in Others’ Pain”, this piece focuses specifically on how narcissists use it to uphold their inflated sense of superiority.

What Is Schadenfreude?

The term schadenfreude originates from German and translates to “harm-joy.” It refers to the satisfaction or pleasure one feels at another’s difficulty, downfall, or failure. Most people may experience this fleetingly in specific contexts (like when a bully gets their comeuppance), but narcissists often lean into it as a deliberate validation strategy.

Failures as Fuel: The Narcissist’s Superiority Mirror

At the heart of narcissistic behavior lies a superiority complex—a deep-seated belief that they are more intelligent, deserving, attractive, or successful than others. But this belief is often built on a fragile ego. To maintain it, they constantly seek external comparisons.

Others’ failures become mirrors reflecting the narcissist’s perceived greatness. It’s not enough for them to be good—they need others to be worse. When someone else struggles, it provides a momentary “ego high” that reaffirms their belief:

“That wouldn’t happen to me. I’m smarter, more capable, more successful.”

Real-World Behavioral Examples

To better understand how narcissists use schadenfreude as a superiority tool, here are common behavioral examples across different settings:

Workplace

• A colleague is reprimanded, and the narcissist casually says, “That’s why I always double-check my work,” with a smug undertone.

• After a coworker misses a promotion, they mockingly suggest, “Maybe they just weren’t leadership material.”

Family

• A sibling experiences a personal setback (like divorce), and the narcissist uses it to elevate themselves as the “stable one” in the family narrative.

• During family gatherings, they bring up old failures to maintain a dominant image: “Remember when you tried to move out and ended up back home?”

Friendships

• If a friend goes through a tough time, the narcissist responds with masked joy: “I always thought you were taking on too much. It was bound to happen.”

• They laugh at your misfortunes and cloak them in “tough love” or “just being honest.”

Social Media

• Publicly liking or commenting on posts about someone’s downfall with passive-aggressive emojis or sarcasm.

• Sharing others’ failures (even anonymously) as cautionary tales: “This is what happens when you think you’re better than others.”

Masked Narcissistic Schadenfreude: Delivered as Humor or “Advice”

Often, narcissists don’t openly celebrate your downfall. Instead, they mask their enjoyment as concern, jokes, or unsolicited wisdom.

 Examples include:

• “Well, I could’ve told you that would happen…”

• “You should’ve asked me first.”

• “That’s what happens when you don’t plan ahead.”

These statements reassert their superiority while appearing helpful or insightful—another layer of manipulation.

Emotional Impact on Victims

Being on the receiving end of a narcissist’s schadenfreude can lead to:

• Humiliation masked as “banter”

• Chronic self-doubt due to constant comparison

• Isolation, as your struggles become tools for their ego rather than moments of support

This cycle can chip away at self-esteem and be particularly damaging when it comes from someone close.

Why This Pattern Matters

Recognizing how narcissists use others’ failures as ego fuel is critical to protecting your emotional space. This pattern:

• Reveals how fragile their self-image truly is

• Explains why they may provoke, sabotage, or undercut others

• Helps you identify toxic dynamics and set firmer boundaries

Understanding this behavior isn’t about changing the narcissist—it’s about freeing yourself from their manipulative games.

Schadenfreude in narcissists isn’t a passing flaw—it’s a psychological tactic. It sustains their illusion of superiority, masks deep insecurities, and often results in emotional harm to those around them. By recognizing how narcissists twist others’ pain into proof of their own greatness, you gain clarity—and the power to step away from the cycle.

For more background, read our related articles: “Schadenfreude: A Key Red Flag of Narcissistic Personality” and “Understanding Schadenfreude in Narcissists: Why They Take Pleasure in Others’ Pain”

The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. We are not licensed clinicians, mental health professionals, lawyers, or legal advisors. For any concerns regarding mental health or personal situations, please seek advice from a qualified professional. For more details, please read our full disclaimer.