Narcissism & Self-Esteem | ELSA RONNINGSTAM

Elsa Ronningstam, PhD, interviewed on the BorderlinerNotes YouTube Channel, challenges the common binary view of self-esteem as either high or low, explaining that such simplifications distort our understanding, especially in relation to narcissism. Instead, self-esteem is framed as a fluid, evolving process closely tied to a sense of agency—feeling in control of one’s actions—and shaped through courage, motivation, and personal growth. Failure is not seen as a reflection of self-worth, but as a valuable part of learning and building resilience. This process-based view allows for a healthier, more functional understanding of self-worth.

When discussing individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the video emphasizes that these patients often regulate self-esteem through external validation and struggle with internal emotional tolerance. Therapy for NPD requires a nuanced, patient approach where empathy is offered in a measured, tolerable way. The goal is to slowly help these individuals validate and explore their own experiences without overwhelming them, fostering emotional insight and control over time. This method contrasts with conventional empathetic interventions, which may be too intense for NPD patients early in treatment.