Financial Abuse, Narcissists & Money: A Divorce Lawyer's Perspective

The video, from the Miles Mason Family Law Group YouTube Channel, explains that financial abuse is a form of domestic violence that uses money as a tool of power, control, and manipulation, often alongside emotional or psychological abuse. It goes far beyond ordinary household budgeting or one spouse managing finances by mutual agreement; instead, it involves secrecy, intimidation, surveillance, and deliberate restriction of access to financial resources. Victims—most often women—may be kept in the dark about marital assets and debts, denied access to bank accounts or credit, forced to account for every dollar spent, prevented from working or advancing their careers, or threatened with financial ruin if they attempt to leave or seek legal help. Financial abuse can affect people of all ages, income levels, and backgrounds, including those living in outwardly affluent situations—a “gilded cage” that is still a cage.

The video also details common tactics used by controlling spouses, including hiding assets, monitoring spending through technology, damaging the victim’s credit, coercing financial fraud, and prolonging divorce proceedings to increase economic pressure. It explains how financial abuse may be rooted in fear, cultural beliefs, or personality disorders such as narcissistic traits, and emphasizes that proving financial abuse often requires documentation, testimony, forensic accounting, and legal intervention. Victims are urged to prioritize safety, seek counseling and financial advice, gather and secure important records, and consult experienced family law attorneys. Recognizing financial abuse and reclaiming financial knowledge and control are presented as essential steps toward achieving fairness, independence, and freedom from an abusive relationship.