‘Too much focus on trying to understand the narcissist is very much part of the problem’

Dr. Jon Sutton, writing for the British Psychological Society website, interviews Dr. Sarah Davies about her book How to Leave a Narcissist… For Good. Dr. Davies shares how her understanding of narcissistic abuse evolved from working with clients who struggled with self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, often due to toxic relationships. She notes that while awareness of narcissistic abuse has increased, misinformation is widespread, particularly on social media. She emphasizes that narcissistic abuse is often "invisible," with victims manipulated into believing they are the problem. Her book provides a practical roadmap for recovery, highlighting the importance of self-awareness, boundary-setting, and self-care.

Dr. Davies stresses that focusing too much on understanding the narcissist can be counterproductive, as it keeps victims trapped in a cycle of seeking answers rather than healing. Instead, she encourages individuals to shift their attention toward their own needs, values, and self-worth. She highlights that recovery requires moving beyond trying to rationalize the abuser’s behavior and instead prioritizing personal growth and healing. Her book aims to empower both readers and therapists with clear, professional guidance on recognizing narcissistic abuse and breaking free from its hold.