Biff: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People

Biff: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People provides a practical guide for handling the hostility and personal attacks often exhibited by high-conflict personalities (HCPs). These individuals rely on “Blamespeak,” a communication style filled with accusations and emotional outbursts, blaming others rather than seeking constructive solutions. Recognizing that HCPs are driven by unmanaged emotions, extreme behavior, and a tendency toward black-and-white thinking, this book helps readers understand that these personal attacks are not truly about them but stem from the HCP’s lack of self-control. Understanding this can prevent escalating responses and help manage conflict effectively.

The book introduces the BIFF response method—Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—as an effective tool for responding to HCPs' hostile emails, texts, social media posts, or face-to-face encounters. By shifting focus from personal defense to neutral and concise responses, BIFF helps reduce emotional engagement and keep interactions calm. Through insightful examples and guidance, the book shows readers how to implement this technique, allowing them to protect their own peace of mind while encouraging a more productive exchange with high-conflict people. This approach not only addresses conflict calmly but also empowers readers to disengage from toxic blame cycles effectively.